I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
