talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize