It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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