you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
