Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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