Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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