i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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