You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
