Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
