I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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