i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
