She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
