Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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