I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
