did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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