UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
