I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
