You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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