I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
