Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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