Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
