Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
