hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize