Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize