You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
