I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
