is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
