yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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