I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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