bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
