And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
