Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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