Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize