I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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