i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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