I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
