remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
