Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
