I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
