My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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