They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
