I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
