It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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