I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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