i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize