So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
