I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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