Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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