He kissed a someone with a penis
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
