Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
