I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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