David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
