Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
