when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
