kristin has been a bad kristin
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
