What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
this hospital has no fireball
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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