Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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