Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
this hospital has no fireball
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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