i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
