I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
