the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
