So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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