Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
