Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
