Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
